some stories

#1 - I was on the square Tuesday night waiting for a bus in that gross stop at the top of State. There was some dude waiting as well. By all appearances he was slightly homeless but he didn't look crazy. Turns out tho that he may have been. Whenever I moved at all, crazy man would jerk suddenly and stand at attention. He never really looked at me but whenever I moved he would jump to attention. Then he started talking. The following came as one thought, "Father? Yes son? Daddy, what is sodomy? Sodomy is a form of rape son. Rape dad? Yes."

So, I found another bus stop.

#2 - On the bus Wednesday night, we were cruising along until - we pulled over, the bus driver stood up, turned around to address the passengers and asked, "Do any of you know where this bus turns?" I don't really require a lot of my bus drivers. I do prefer them to know where we're going tho.

#3 - After a wonderful night at the Shamrock with Becki I walked her home and she made me a grilled cheese. Then I called saferide for a cab. Saferide is a system set up by the University to supply free cab rides. As I work for the University I still get to use it. Anyway, saferide gets me pretty far but then they start charging after Midvale. So the cab picked me up and the driver said, "Ya know Porter's after..." Which made no sense to me so I said, "What?" and he had to repeat himself 4 times before I got him to say, "You're charged after Midvale...quarters!!" "Oh, yeah I know" I had thought he was making some sort of sports small talk...oops. So we drove off and picked up Hazel on the way. All was well the whole way UNTIL we got to my apartment’s parking lot. Cabbie (as he shall be forthwith known) announced the price of $4.50 and I handed him my debit card as I was told I could do when I made the cab request. Here is where the event went downhill. Cabbie totally freaked out, resulting in this exchange:

Cabbie: Don’t you have any cash?!?!
Me: No. I was told I could use my card when I called.
Cabbie: Well I’ll just take you back then!!
Me & Hazel: Wha?
Me: No! I asked before I got in this car if I could pay with plastic and was told it was fine.
Cabbie: Well, if I run your card the meter is going to reset and I won’t be able to charge her right.
Hazel: Listen, I’ll just pay for him.
Me & Cabbie: No.
Cabbie: (to me) You’ve been nothing but trouble since you got in this cab!!
Me: So you’re going to take me back downtown?
Cabbie: No but you’re not getting out until I drop her off so I can charge her.
Me: Fine! Drive! Can I have my card back please?

Cabbie kept my card and drove to Hazel’s place where she got out. Needless to say, I was seething but, I figured my eventual complaint would have more merit if I didn’t get violent or start swearing at him so, contrary to my standard procedure I kept my cool. We dropped Hazel off and while in her driveway Cabbie ran my card and handed me the slip.

Me: I’m not going to sign this until you take me home.

He turned around completely and just stared at me. I stared back and repeated, “I’m not signing yet. Take me home.” He got heated to the point that I thought I was going to get punched but then he drove.

Cabbie: Fuckin’ kids!! Oh, no, don’t trust the cab driver. Always expect the cab driver to fuck you over. You fuckin’ kids think this is great? You think I like driving snotty-nosed people all over this fuckin’ city?! You think you’re all so fuckin’ smart with all your fuckin’ classes. You’re too fuckin’ drunk is what you are.
Me: I’m completely sober.
Cabbie: Well you’re too fuckin’ tired! Fuckin’ kids are younger than my kids. You think I like this fuckin’ shit-paying job? You think this is so great? Oh, porters? Porters? Clean your fuckin’ ears.
Me: You need to communicate better if you want to get anything across. I had no clue what you were talking about.
Cabbie: Must be my fuckin’ accent huh? (He had none) That must be the problem, huh? You students would never consider that you’re the problem. What do you think you’re gonna do with your life? What are you studying?
Me: I have a degree and a certificate and two jobs.
Cabbie: … Get the fuck out of my fuckin’ cab.
Me: You want me to –
Cabbie: Get out, I don’t want your fuckin’ money!

I’ve been told that technically, if a cab driver doesn’t take you where you want to go, it’s called kidnapping. From here on in this story will be called, “that time I got kidnapped by a cab driver”. Needless to say I was kinda scared. It’s very intense to be in a moving car with a driver who seems nuts and seems like he wants to hurt you. I’m glad I kept my cool. When I got home I called Union cab and explained. They seemed genuinely concerned and promised that he would be called in and severely reprimanded. I hope the jackass was fired. It was intense!