Saturday, December 16, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Leslie Hall
There are many things that I have failed to let you all know about. I shall endeavor to catch you up over the next few weeks. Update #1 involves LESLIE HALL! You may remember the various odes to her that I posted a few months ago. She's some sort of performance art genius. I LUV her always. Anyway, she was in Madison for a show in October and I was there with bells (sadly sans sweater) on.
It all started with a vintage fashion show featuring items from a local resale shop. I don't know why but I wasn't expecting much. It turned out to be pretty cool. The fashions themselves rocked. It was a nice fusion of old clothes, newish styling. I dug it. All this was followed by a local band called, Screaming Cyn Cyn and the Pons (I think). It was kinda screamy but really funny and quite enjoyable. It was clearly not Rachel's cup-o-tea but Anna, Andy, and I were all over it. Check em out if you can. Support the local music scene.
OK, all the foreplay out of the way, it was time for the Gold-Panted-Goddess herself. She did not fail to amaze! For all of you unfamiliar, get on it! There are many reasons to like her/respect her:
- She has talent! She writes/sings/dances with amazing wit and irony.
- She's hilarious. Simple.
- She's made a real career for herself utilizing the internet. Myspace particularly. I think that's pretty impressive. She has harnessed a new media and has used it to connect to a semi-hidden audience.
- She wears GOLD pants.
- She is the curator of the world's only traveling, gem-sweater museum.
Everyone together: "That's a ruff post!" Here's a similarly ruff pic:
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Muntjac!
Today at work, Cody asked if any of us had heard of the Muntjac. We hadn't. It turns out that a muntjac is an animal and, probably, we should have heard of it. Now I'll tell you about the muntjac, as if giving a report in elementary school.
The muntjac is a mammal. It is related to deer but it is smaller. It belongs to the family Muntiacinae within the order Cervidae. The muntjac comes from Asia and is the oldest kind of deer. Although is originally came from Asia, now it is found all over England. Muntjac are sometimes called "Barking Deer" because of the sound they make.
Muntjac are very small. They look like they have big back legs which makes them look funny. They look a little like they'll fall forward onto their face. When they run, they keep their head close to the ground and they put their butts in the air. When they are full-grown, they usually are only about 43-46 cm tall at their shoulders. That's about the size of a medium dog! Muntjac are mostly brown-red in summer and dark brown in winter. They have white bellies.
Boy and girl muntjac have special holes on their faces. They make stuff in these holes to leave their smell on stuff. It is kinda creamy and whiteish. Boys grow antlers. They usually only have 2 and these horns end in a hook. They are pretty short and are mostly just one spike, not like our deers. Both boys and girls have "canine" teeth which are sometimes called "tusks". These teeth can move to make eating easier!
They eat plants. Sometimes muntjacs can break little trees so they can eat the stuff on the top. I think they also climb trees sometimes. It's okay to be short when you can still eat the high up stuff.
I think muntjac are cool and I'm glad I wrote a report about them. Here's a picture of a muntjac.
This question also came up: If 'muntjac' were a verb, what would it mean? Here I use it in a sentence:
.
The muntjac is a mammal. It is related to deer but it is smaller. It belongs to the family Muntiacinae within the order Cervidae. The muntjac comes from Asia and is the oldest kind of deer. Although is originally came from Asia, now it is found all over England. Muntjac are sometimes called "Barking Deer" because of the sound they make.
Muntjac are very small. They look like they have big back legs which makes them look funny. They look a little like they'll fall forward onto their face. When they run, they keep their head close to the ground and they put their butts in the air. When they are full-grown, they usually are only about 43-46 cm tall at their shoulders. That's about the size of a medium dog! Muntjac are mostly brown-red in summer and dark brown in winter. They have white bellies.
Boy and girl muntjac have special holes on their faces. They make stuff in these holes to leave their smell on stuff. It is kinda creamy and whiteish. Boys grow antlers. They usually only have 2 and these horns end in a hook. They are pretty short and are mostly just one spike, not like our deers. Both boys and girls have "canine" teeth which are sometimes called "tusks". These teeth can move to make eating easier!
They eat plants. Sometimes muntjacs can break little trees so they can eat the stuff on the top. I think they also climb trees sometimes. It's okay to be short when you can still eat the high up stuff.
I think muntjac are cool and I'm glad I wrote a report about them. Here's a picture of a muntjac.
This question also came up: If 'muntjac' were a verb, what would it mean? Here I use it in a sentence:
The challenge to you, dear reader, is to come up with the best definition for 'muntjac' the verb and post it in the comments.
- I was just sittin there when Bobby muntjac'd me.
- I'm gonna go out tonight and jac some munt.
- One, two, muntjac to my loo.
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006
It's Time!
Why are you reading this?!?! Get out there and VOTE! If you're in WI, vote NO on the amendment.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Just because
I read this in Mr. Right's column in The Isthmus. Hopefully it's ok that I'm reprinting it here. If not, please let me know. Otherwise, please enjoy these words:
Just because
Be sure to vote on Tuesday
Just because
Be sure to vote on Tuesday
Because they’re here. Because they’re queer. Because they’ve always been here. Because they’ve always been queer. Because they’ll always be here. Because they’ll always be queer. Because we’re all queer, one way or another. Because the way they’re queer isn’t all that different from the way we’re queer, when you think about it. Because they love each other, and what’s so queer about that? Because they’ve always been there for each other. Because they’ve always been there for us. Because we haven’t always been there for them, and we should have been. Because they’re our sons, our daughters, our sisters, our brothers, our uncles, our aunts, our nephews, our nieces, our fathers, our mothers, our teachers, our preachers, our doctors, our nurses, our soldiers in Iraq. Because, if asked, they’re not supposed to tell, and what kind of nonsense is that? Because if they’re willing to lay down their lives for their country, why shouldn’t their country lay down something for them? Because it says, right there in the U.S. Constitution, “We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union,” and aren’t they people, and don’t they deserve a more perfect Union? Because it says, right there in the Declaration of Independence, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these rights are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Because, I repeat, all men are created equal. Because all women are created equal too, but it took us over 100 years to figure that out. Because we’re sometimes a little slow on the uptake. Because we’re fallible, we’re human, which is why, over 200 years later, we’re still trying to form a more perfect Union, not a perfect Union. Because that would be tempting the gods. Because there are no perfect unions, as most married people would be the first to admit. Because, otherwise, why would there be so many divorces, so many broken homes, so many broken children? Because marriage, as we all know, can be quite hard. Because it’s an institution, and who wants to be in an institution? Because it’s not just an institution, it’s a sacred institution — too sacred, perhaps, to be left to heterosexuals. Because it has been left to heterosexuals, for the most part, and let’s face it, they’ve largely screwed it up. Because marriage, ultimately, isn’t about a piece of paper, a certificate, a blood test, a joint filing statement. Because when the marriage dissolves, the piece of paper gets torn up and thrown in the trash can. But just because heterosexuals have screwed it up doesn’t mean homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to screw it up as well. Just because heterosexuals don’t always cherish that piece of paper doesn’t mean homosexuals won’t clasp it to their bosoms, worship at the altar of marriage while their heterosexual brothers and sisters are out playing golf. Because homosexuals know what it’s like to be denied their rights under the U.S. Constitution. Because they’ve been wrestling with these issues since the day they were born. Because it’s not something you choose, like a change of clothes. Because if it were, few would have chosen it. Because the rest of us have made it so hard for them, which isn’t right. Because they’re just like us. Because we’re just like them. Because there is no us and them. Because we’re here. Because we’re queer. Because it’s high time we all got used to it.
Send all marriage proposals to: MR. RIGHT, ISTHMUS, 101 KING ST., MADISON, WI 53703. OR CALL 251-1206, EXT. 152. OR E-MAIL MRRIGHT@ISTHMUS.COM.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
"NO!"
It's time to talk about the ban. Next Tuesday Wisconsin is poised to make history and become the first state in the nation to vote down a ban on same-sex marriage and civil unions. Here's what the proposed amendment says:
Right now, the law in Wisconsin defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. The amendment would prevent a court in the future from deciding that the law as it currently stands is discriminatory and, in effect, an illegal law. By voting "NO" on the referendum, we will be helping to keep discrimination from being codified in our state's guiding document. It is patently unacceptable to tamper with the constitution of our state to satisfy the whims of bigots and homophobes. The supporters of this proposal have painted the issue as a way of "protecting" marriage. However, even if gay people were allowed to marry, there is nothing in that to undermine the marriage bond of a straight couple. If marriage is so perilous that allowing more loving couples to enter into it would undermine it's foundation, perhaps we should rethink that foundation.
We like to think that marriage is about love and on one level it sure is but, marriage is also a contract that confers a shit-load of rights and responsibilities on those people signing on. There are over 1,000 of these rights, benefits and responsibilities bestowed on the federal level and a bunch more on the state level. You can find a partial list here.
In addition to the audacity of writing discrimination into the constitution, the amendment also fails to make practical economic sense. Most legitimate business organizations have come out on the 'no' side for solid business reasons such as revenue loss and difficulty in recruitment. The UW system is also solidly opposed to the amendment for practical reasons. At the moment, the UW is the only Big 10 school that does not provide full domestic partner benefits. This is a very real concern when it comes to recruiting the best minds available. The competitive edge needed to get the best scientists, writers, lecturers, artists, etc. is missing at the moment and the effect has been noticed.
Most readers of this blog are well aware of all these issues. In case you weren't, I hope I've shed some light. Please visit the Fair Wisconsin website and talk, talk, talk. There's less than a week to go until voting day. Get talking with your friends and coworkers. You know gay people whether you're aware of it or not. Think about what it'd mean for this state to say these people are not worthy of the same rights as everyone else.
On a personal note I want to express how inspiring it is to see my friends rally behind this issue. I have many straight friends who are much more involved in this issue than I am and I think it's really amazing and it shames me a bit. I've always known you were a smart group (you do have me as a friend after all) but the aggressiveness shown around this issue is really something to celebrate and so, I do.
***Update from Debbie***
Marriage. Shall section 13 of article XIII of the constitution be created to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state and that a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state?
Right now, the law in Wisconsin defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. The amendment would prevent a court in the future from deciding that the law as it currently stands is discriminatory and, in effect, an illegal law. By voting "NO" on the referendum, we will be helping to keep discrimination from being codified in our state's guiding document. It is patently unacceptable to tamper with the constitution of our state to satisfy the whims of bigots and homophobes. The supporters of this proposal have painted the issue as a way of "protecting" marriage. However, even if gay people were allowed to marry, there is nothing in that to undermine the marriage bond of a straight couple. If marriage is so perilous that allowing more loving couples to enter into it would undermine it's foundation, perhaps we should rethink that foundation.
We like to think that marriage is about love and on one level it sure is but, marriage is also a contract that confers a shit-load of rights and responsibilities on those people signing on. There are over 1,000 of these rights, benefits and responsibilities bestowed on the federal level and a bunch more on the state level. You can find a partial list here.
In addition to the audacity of writing discrimination into the constitution, the amendment also fails to make practical economic sense. Most legitimate business organizations have come out on the 'no' side for solid business reasons such as revenue loss and difficulty in recruitment. The UW system is also solidly opposed to the amendment for practical reasons. At the moment, the UW is the only Big 10 school that does not provide full domestic partner benefits. This is a very real concern when it comes to recruiting the best minds available. The competitive edge needed to get the best scientists, writers, lecturers, artists, etc. is missing at the moment and the effect has been noticed.
Most readers of this blog are well aware of all these issues. In case you weren't, I hope I've shed some light. Please visit the Fair Wisconsin website and talk, talk, talk. There's less than a week to go until voting day. Get talking with your friends and coworkers. You know gay people whether you're aware of it or not. Think about what it'd mean for this state to say these people are not worthy of the same rights as everyone else.
On a personal note I want to express how inspiring it is to see my friends rally behind this issue. I have many straight friends who are much more involved in this issue than I am and I think it's really amazing and it shames me a bit. I've always known you were a smart group (you do have me as a friend after all) but the aggressiveness shown around this issue is really something to celebrate and so, I do.
***Update from Debbie***
If you've read the Fair Wisconsin blog or website recently, you'll know that the amendment's supporters have recently had big donations that are going toward radio and tv ads. This means that they're discovering how close the vote is going to be next Tuesday. Right now Fair Wisconsin needs a LOT of GOTV volunteers to make sure the NO voters remember to go to the polls. In MANY areas of Wisconsin volunteers are needed to phone- and door-canvass . . . and it's really easy -- you only talk to people who have already said that they're voting no. So if you have any time between now and Tuesday night please, please, PLEASE use it to help stop this ban. If you really can't volunteer, please consider donating to help keep the FW ads on the air. It's going to be close on Tuesday, and we really believe WI can be the first state in the nation to stop a ban like this. On Wisconsin!
go to www.fairwisconsin.com for more info, to donate, or to find out how to volunteer in your area of the state.
go to www.fairwisconsin.com for more info, to donate, or to find out how to volunteer in your area of the state.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
"Eat shit and die!" - OR - Ted Nugent is an asshole...
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Last night I had the great fortune of working the light board at the Ted Nugent lecture. (please note the sarcasm...) First a little history: Ted Nugent is a rock star from Michigan who made a big name for himself in the 70's & 80's. Now he's an extremely right-wing activist and hunting enthusiast.
Ok, first the good stuff... Mr. Nugent (from here referred to as ASS) is very into wild-life and hunting. He sees himself as a conservationist and celebrates the hunting ritual as a means of getting closer to nature. He's also dramatically opposed to drug use and dependency in all it's forms.
I am not, to everyone's surprise, an avid hunter. However, I see absolutely nothing wrong with hunting and I recognize that it is a necessary thing. For example, without hunting we'd have an extremely large deer herd and nature would have to devise it's own way to check their numbers. I come from a family of hunters and while I never really had an interest in joining in, I'm not in the least against it so long as it's done fairly and responsibly. I also think there's something to be said for communing with nature and celebrating the fruits of her bounty. What I do have a problem with is the pro-hunting contingent latching on to the pro-gun thing and feeling the need to seek the right to carry any gun they wish. Why on Earth does a person need an automatic anything? Certainly not for hunting. Where's the sport in automatic? Also, why does a sportsman feel the need to seek the right to carry a hidden handgun? In my opinion, if all handguns were illegal, a lot of problems could be dealt with. Handguns are simply not needed. Many republicans argue that a concealed-carry law protects everyone because, "who knows who has a gun..." I think it's a bunch of bull-shit and I don't see why a sportsman should seek protection for all guns. A responsible sportsPERSON (sorry ladies) should be in support of responsible gun laws.
ANYWAY, ASS was an ass. He started his talk by talking about drugs which was fine. They ruin lives, they ruin communities, etc. However, that segued into the evenings theme of VAST GENERALIZATION. According to ASS, the difference between liberals and conservatives is that conservatives are early-risers and look forward to a hard day's work whereas liberals would rather sleep in and avoid work. Liberals also apparently have an east coast accent and like to search for excuses rather than to face a problem. Homeless people are drug-users and drunks - never give them money just point them (or kick them) toward the nearest help wanted sign. People opposed to war are not patriots. People in support of responsible gun control are pussies.
Other tidbits:
ASS regaled the audience with a story of shooting a cat he found on his front porch. He was a bit sad that he hadn't given the carcass to a Korean restaurant, "If you've been to a Korean restaurant you've eaten cat. And the French eat horse."
After thinking someone was video-taping him, ASS demanded that security (there were about 694 security guards), "get him!" So, he stared at a particular section of the audience and noticed the solitary black person in the audience. "Oh, I'm happy to see I'm not the only black guy here tonight. Welcome, son." (ASS is white) Then, he told the guy that if he made a video of him, "I'll gut ya!"
Nobody had made a video and when this was pointed out, ASS went crazy on an analogy comparing his image to apples and, as the owner of his orchard, he had to protect his apples... The guy asking for an apology was told to "Fuck off"
Another guy went a little nuts pointing out ASS's Vietnam draft dodging. He was told to, "Eat shit and die!"
There was more talk of shit and cats and guns and liberals and patriotism and general bull-shit but I thankfully can't remember it all.
This whole event made me think about the liberal speakers I've seen. Very rarely have I seen a liberal speaker use vast generalizations and stereotypes the way ASS did. Also, I've never seen a liberal speaker reduce his or her particular argument to the breath-taking mind-vomit that ASS did. It seems that to please an audience of republicans one must celebrate strong-headedness and bemoan intelligence. What's happened?
To sum up, Ted Nugent likes to hunt and I support that but he is an incredible asshole. The end.
Last night I had the great fortune of working the light board at the Ted Nugent lecture. (please note the sarcasm...) First a little history: Ted Nugent is a rock star from Michigan who made a big name for himself in the 70's & 80's. Now he's an extremely right-wing activist and hunting enthusiast.
Ok, first the good stuff... Mr. Nugent (from here referred to as ASS) is very into wild-life and hunting. He sees himself as a conservationist and celebrates the hunting ritual as a means of getting closer to nature. He's also dramatically opposed to drug use and dependency in all it's forms.
I am not, to everyone's surprise, an avid hunter. However, I see absolutely nothing wrong with hunting and I recognize that it is a necessary thing. For example, without hunting we'd have an extremely large deer herd and nature would have to devise it's own way to check their numbers. I come from a family of hunters and while I never really had an interest in joining in, I'm not in the least against it so long as it's done fairly and responsibly. I also think there's something to be said for communing with nature and celebrating the fruits of her bounty. What I do have a problem with is the pro-hunting contingent latching on to the pro-gun thing and feeling the need to seek the right to carry any gun they wish. Why on Earth does a person need an automatic anything? Certainly not for hunting. Where's the sport in automatic? Also, why does a sportsman feel the need to seek the right to carry a hidden handgun? In my opinion, if all handguns were illegal, a lot of problems could be dealt with. Handguns are simply not needed. Many republicans argue that a concealed-carry law protects everyone because, "who knows who has a gun..." I think it's a bunch of bull-shit and I don't see why a sportsman should seek protection for all guns. A responsible sportsPERSON (sorry ladies) should be in support of responsible gun laws.
ANYWAY, ASS was an ass. He started his talk by talking about drugs which was fine. They ruin lives, they ruin communities, etc. However, that segued into the evenings theme of VAST GENERALIZATION. According to ASS, the difference between liberals and conservatives is that conservatives are early-risers and look forward to a hard day's work whereas liberals would rather sleep in and avoid work. Liberals also apparently have an east coast accent and like to search for excuses rather than to face a problem. Homeless people are drug-users and drunks - never give them money just point them (or kick them) toward the nearest help wanted sign. People opposed to war are not patriots. People in support of responsible gun control are pussies.
Other tidbits:
ASS regaled the audience with a story of shooting a cat he found on his front porch. He was a bit sad that he hadn't given the carcass to a Korean restaurant, "If you've been to a Korean restaurant you've eaten cat. And the French eat horse."
After thinking someone was video-taping him, ASS demanded that security (there were about 694 security guards), "get him!" So, he stared at a particular section of the audience and noticed the solitary black person in the audience. "Oh, I'm happy to see I'm not the only black guy here tonight. Welcome, son." (ASS is white) Then, he told the guy that if he made a video of him, "I'll gut ya!"
Nobody had made a video and when this was pointed out, ASS went crazy on an analogy comparing his image to apples and, as the owner of his orchard, he had to protect his apples... The guy asking for an apology was told to "Fuck off"
Another guy went a little nuts pointing out ASS's Vietnam draft dodging. He was told to, "Eat shit and die!"
There was more talk of shit and cats and guns and liberals and patriotism and general bull-shit but I thankfully can't remember it all.
This whole event made me think about the liberal speakers I've seen. Very rarely have I seen a liberal speaker use vast generalizations and stereotypes the way ASS did. Also, I've never seen a liberal speaker reduce his or her particular argument to the breath-taking mind-vomit that ASS did. It seems that to please an audience of republicans one must celebrate strong-headedness and bemoan intelligence. What's happened?
To sum up, Ted Nugent likes to hunt and I support that but he is an incredible asshole. The end.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Take 2!
Here's a trailer for "Sixty-Six" which I worked on a bit while living in London. Hopefully this one'll be better than the first one I did...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
I'm So Excited!
Check out this trailer for "The Last Kiss" which I was lucky enough to work on last summer as unit 2 art department for the location stuff in Madison. It was a lot of fun and should be a great movie.
You can also see pictures from "Sixty Six" which I did some studio, prop/art department stuff on in London by going to this website.
You can also see pictures from "Sixty Six" which I did some studio, prop/art department stuff on in London by going to this website.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Happy Birthday America (and notesfromaslightlylargercontinent)
It was one year ago today that I wrote my first entry in this blog. You can review it HERE. A year ago, I had just gotten to London. Reading what I wrote then, I can feel again the excitement I was feeling and the optimism that I had. Now, 365 days later, I'm back in Madison; sitting, waiting...not really pessimistic but also not with the optimism and bright-eyed outlook of a year ago.
All day I've been trying to think of what to say on this our most important of holidays. Where are we now? It was 230 years ago that the Declaration was signed and what has become of the grand experiment it set in motion? We find ourselves daily with news of our government's failings (flailings). This administration, in the name of security, has been slowly pulling away at our rights. We've learned that the NSA could be listening to our calls or reading our emails, the treasury might be reviewing our bank records. Our country may pretend to be independent but, faced daily with reminders of big brother and with the proof of our leaders' incompetence, can we, as individuals claim to be independent any more? Our nation was founded, famously, on the ideals of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Let's take stock and see how we're holding up.
I know I sound very pessimistic and accusatory but I don't mean to be. I really am patriotic and I do love this country but I love it for the ideals on which it was founded. I'm saddened by the course it has taken. Take a look around you today. I did and I noticed a distinct lack of bunting. A distinct lack of waving flags. In the capital of this state, a distinct lack of parade. Have we been shamed, by the extreme failures of late into such cynicism about patriotism that even on the 4th, we can't show any indication that we're proud of where we live? I was thinking of the festivities of River City, Ioway and how they compare with today. For that matter, how would Mayberry's 4th compare with ours? We do have a lot to celebrate and a lot to be proud of . As I think back, a year after arriving in London, I recall my feelings while there. I remember missing America and the things (sure, mostly material) that I took (take) for granted here...
This is meandering and I have to go...Hopefully, sometime soon, I will regain some lucidity and will be able to write my thoughts in an understandable manner.
In summary tho: it's the 4th, we're 230 years old, this blog is 1!, our country has been on a bad path for a while but it's still something to be proud of. Look back at what our founders had planned and feel the excitement that they must have felt when they put pen to paper to sign Jefferson's declaration.
Happy 4th - have a beer for me!
All day I've been trying to think of what to say on this our most important of holidays. Where are we now? It was 230 years ago that the Declaration was signed and what has become of the grand experiment it set in motion? We find ourselves daily with news of our government's failings (flailings). This administration, in the name of security, has been slowly pulling away at our rights. We've learned that the NSA could be listening to our calls or reading our emails, the treasury might be reviewing our bank records. Our country may pretend to be independent but, faced daily with reminders of big brother and with the proof of our leaders' incompetence, can we, as individuals claim to be independent any more? Our nation was founded, famously, on the ideals of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Let's take stock and see how we're holding up.
I know I sound very pessimistic and accusatory but I don't mean to be. I really am patriotic and I do love this country but I love it for the ideals on which it was founded. I'm saddened by the course it has taken. Take a look around you today. I did and I noticed a distinct lack of bunting. A distinct lack of waving flags. In the capital of this state, a distinct lack of parade. Have we been shamed, by the extreme failures of late into such cynicism about patriotism that even on the 4th, we can't show any indication that we're proud of where we live? I was thinking of the festivities of River City, Ioway and how they compare with today. For that matter, how would Mayberry's 4th compare with ours? We do have a lot to celebrate and a lot to be proud of . As I think back, a year after arriving in London, I recall my feelings while there. I remember missing America and the things (sure, mostly material) that I took (take) for granted here...
This is meandering and I have to go...Hopefully, sometime soon, I will regain some lucidity and will be able to write my thoughts in an understandable manner.
In summary tho: it's the 4th, we're 230 years old, this blog is 1!, our country has been on a bad path for a while but it's still something to be proud of. Look back at what our founders had planned and feel the excitement that they must have felt when they put pen to paper to sign Jefferson's declaration.
Happy 4th - have a beer for me!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Observe the Beauty!
In my continuing ode/love letter to Leslie Hall, please witness her genius in this video:
Thursday, June 15, 2006
WOW
EVERYONE MUST WATCH THIS! and then puke all over the Westboro Baptist Church! Fox News usually makes my stomach turn but this is kinda impressive. I've never seen an interviewer rip in like this.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Ring-A-Ding-Ding
"A large woman dancing in a gold jumpsuit accompanied by turntables and a 'keytar' - any two of these three ingredients should be enough.....The line between irony and sincerity, straddled by gold thighs, has never looked so good."For those of you who may not know of Leslie and the Ly's - get with the program. How can you deny the appeal of this grrl? "Thank you mama for making me gold pants - that I can dance in!" YES! She is a middle-america white-girl rap/funk goddess and you should bow down before her sweaters.
-The Basement -John Spragens
I just bought the CD today and there are NO regrets. Check it foos!
1-Look at the gallery of sweaters at www.GemSweater.com
2-Look at the myspace page at www.myspace.com/lesliehall
3-Buy the CD and love it at www.leslieandthelys.com or on iTunes!
I'm not even paid to endorse this stuff!
September 29 Madison, WI High Noon Saloon - Be There!
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Monday, May 22, 2006
Some youtubes that I found funny
It's just funny....
This made me laugh out loud - repeatedly
What's scarier? Bea's voice, the song, the dude?
ADVENTURE: Cleveland
Cleveland is disgusting. It is Creepy-City. There are many tall buildings in Cleveland and what resembles a downtown area but there are no people and there are no cars. I never saw traffic in Cleveland. It’s like something bad happened and the people, like jungle creatures after a bulldozer (nice Fern Gully metaphor) are just now peeking back into the affected area. Creepy. Other than that, it’s dirty and depressed. The people don’t look happy and they don’t treat you with much more than a woeful distrust. I didn’t like Cleveland much. One night I was downtown and the only person I saw was a dirty man in the middle of the dirty street (there was no traffic so it was ok) with his dirty cock hanging out taking a piss – it seemed appropriate.
I was in Cleveland for a steel do. The American Iron and Steel Institute was having their big annual soiree, the AISTech. It was really just a huge trade show where all these different companies set up booths and show-off what they do. I didn’t really realize the scope of the steel industry. There were companies there that make steel, mine ore, make oil pipes, provide laser beams that test the quality of steel, lubricate steel machines, label molten steel, improve the efficiency of a plant. There was a lot going on and most of it was over my head but I did my best to work. I’m not a wheeler-and-dealer but thankfully I didn’t really need to do that. Mostly I just went to each booth and checked out what they did. I made a few notes and checked out what they were offering for free. These places love to give away free crap. I got crayons and combo tape measure/mint dispensers, rulers with magnifying glasses and coffee mugs. My favorite is a key chain that says “More Suck for Your Buck.” I have no clue what they do.
On Tuesday night I went to the TGIFriday’s across the street from my hotel. The waitress sat me, awkwardly, facing another guy seated at a table by himself. I hadn’t brought a book and so, I sat there, trying not to face the other guy but we kept accidentally looking and then turning away quickly. We ended up making eye contact quite a few times so, I thought he was flirting with me. I got all ballsy and said, “Would you like to join me?” Who am I? So he came over and we chatted for a while. His name was Chad and he was just travelin' thru. He works for Cingular or something and goes around the country fixing their showrooms. Then he started telling me about the states with the best chicks. Apparently the girls of Alabama are “pretty bangin’” I’m glad I know now – I didn’t have a reason to visit Alabama before. Also, whereas Detroit may be dirty, Chad had had some fun there recently with a hotel clerk and her friend. I don’t know why we were talking about this stuff but I found it pretty funny. I finished my dinner and wished him a good night. Tonight I was determined to go to a gay bar so I headed to the downtown area to meet a guy from gay.com named Thomas. We met at Union Station, a pretty sad gay bar in the middle of nothing (that’s Cleveland). I don’t know what these people do. There were bars lining the streets but no people inside or out. The place was pretty big but there were only about 20 people there. Boggles the mind. Anyway, it was strip night and we were lucky enough to see two VERY lack-luster strippers strut what used to be their stuff while a pretty sad drag queen commented. It was all very unfortunate but it was nice to go out and do something. In the cab on the way back to my hotel, the cabbie decided that it was a good idea to tell me all about Cleveland’s problems – namely: immigrants, the loss of the steel industry, and “African-Americans living in squalor.” This was the most surprising thing for me. Stepping out of Madison’s protective bubble is always a bit of a gamble but I wasn’t expecting such vehement viewpoints to be expressed by a stranger. I sat quietly until we got home.
Wish I had more to tell but alas, Cleveland is boring. I got excited about there being a theatre-district. I headed there and found about a dozen theatres but none of them had anything playing while I was in town. Creepy-City.
I did take this picture, which I think is kinda nice but it is not representative of the city.
I was in Cleveland for a steel do. The American Iron and Steel Institute was having their big annual soiree, the AISTech. It was really just a huge trade show where all these different companies set up booths and show-off what they do. I didn’t really realize the scope of the steel industry. There were companies there that make steel, mine ore, make oil pipes, provide laser beams that test the quality of steel, lubricate steel machines, label molten steel, improve the efficiency of a plant. There was a lot going on and most of it was over my head but I did my best to work. I’m not a wheeler-and-dealer but thankfully I didn’t really need to do that. Mostly I just went to each booth and checked out what they did. I made a few notes and checked out what they were offering for free. These places love to give away free crap. I got crayons and combo tape measure/mint dispensers, rulers with magnifying glasses and coffee mugs. My favorite is a key chain that says “More Suck for Your Buck.” I have no clue what they do.
On Tuesday night I went to the TGIFriday’s across the street from my hotel. The waitress sat me, awkwardly, facing another guy seated at a table by himself. I hadn’t brought a book and so, I sat there, trying not to face the other guy but we kept accidentally looking and then turning away quickly. We ended up making eye contact quite a few times so, I thought he was flirting with me. I got all ballsy and said, “Would you like to join me?” Who am I? So he came over and we chatted for a while. His name was Chad and he was just travelin' thru. He works for Cingular or something and goes around the country fixing their showrooms. Then he started telling me about the states with the best chicks. Apparently the girls of Alabama are “pretty bangin’” I’m glad I know now – I didn’t have a reason to visit Alabama before. Also, whereas Detroit may be dirty, Chad had had some fun there recently with a hotel clerk and her friend. I don’t know why we were talking about this stuff but I found it pretty funny. I finished my dinner and wished him a good night. Tonight I was determined to go to a gay bar so I headed to the downtown area to meet a guy from gay.com named Thomas. We met at Union Station, a pretty sad gay bar in the middle of nothing (that’s Cleveland). I don’t know what these people do. There were bars lining the streets but no people inside or out. The place was pretty big but there were only about 20 people there. Boggles the mind. Anyway, it was strip night and we were lucky enough to see two VERY lack-luster strippers strut what used to be their stuff while a pretty sad drag queen commented. It was all very unfortunate but it was nice to go out and do something. In the cab on the way back to my hotel, the cabbie decided that it was a good idea to tell me all about Cleveland’s problems – namely: immigrants, the loss of the steel industry, and “African-Americans living in squalor.” This was the most surprising thing for me. Stepping out of Madison’s protective bubble is always a bit of a gamble but I wasn’t expecting such vehement viewpoints to be expressed by a stranger. I sat quietly until we got home.
Wish I had more to tell but alas, Cleveland is boring. I got excited about there being a theatre-district. I headed there and found about a dozen theatres but none of them had anything playing while I was in town. Creepy-City.
I did take this picture, which I think is kinda nice but it is not representative of the city.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
ADVENTURE: Chicago (please excuse my tardiness...)
The day was dark and damp as Anna and I, intrepid ADVENTURERS that we are, set out for "the big city". The trip to Chicago was essentially to join in the festivities of one Ms. Laura McClain as she celebrated her 24th birthday. It was to be a coming together of Madison people and Chicago people. Anna and I were eager to see what these windy-city-folk were all about. We're a new-age Lewis and Clark really, Anna and I. We go places to see what's there and what the people are like. Then we write about it.
Anyway, there is not much to be said for the drive down except that exceptional time was made and we listened to an unlistened-to mix CD given me by Mr. Brian Proball (what?). What, you ask, could possibly be on a CD made by BP for me? Excellent question. It was a query Anna and I were ready to explore. After the first 2 tracks, the general genre of the mix was abundantly clear. What we had was a bunch of that early 00's crappy dance music. Ya know the stuff with the canned beat and some breathy woman singing a cover of some song that was not supposed to be fast? That was infesting this disc. I guess this is the kind of music that stupid straights assume classy gays listen to. Not so. I can't recall them all but some highlights were, Boys of Summer, Dust in the Wind, and Unchained Melody. UM was by far our favorite because it was the absolute least expected song to hear remixed on a Brian Proball album. UM-dance remix was an instrumental selection in the "trance" tradition until the middle of the track when a breathy woman came in to say, "Un Chained Mel O Dee." We laughed.
Chicago was just as rainy as Wisconsin when we arrived and it stayed that way until we left. We met up with Laura and a couple of her high school friends as they finished dinner. We sat around her beautiful high-rise apartment for a little while catching up before piling into Matt's car for the drive to the bar. We meant to go to some classy wine bar but it was too packed so we spent the night in the adjoining sports-type place. We met all the windy-city-folk and laughed together at some rather unfortunate people. We also decided early on to name our nemeses so as to be ready for the all-too-eventual bar brawl. Anna picked an ugly woman whose hair had forgotten the progression of time. Her bangs, in the early 80's may not have seemed much but in '06, we thought they were the 8th wonder. How they stayed like that can not be known. We called her "waterfall-bangs" or something like that. I picked "Aspen Man" as my nemesis, mostly because I wanted to touch him and I figured that the easiest way was in the brawl. He had a white sweater on and white pants (I think). He had very chiseled features and looked flush from a day on the slopes. Bastard. There was also a very friendly guy who kept trying to touch our ladies. I had, at one point, to defend the honor of Laura's friend against gropey-man's advances. He understood us to be engaged so, he stopped touching her and then pinched my ass. He needed a beating! "We'll get him later in the brawl," we thought, but sadly the brawl was not to be. Instead we just continued talking and catching up with old friends (Nate and Nicole) and new (windy-city-folk) until the night was done.
I woke up the next morning and indeed woke Anna and Laura up as well by sneezing 231 times in quick succession. Such a feat has ne'er been done without the subsequent explosion of one's head. We proceeded on to brunch at a fantastic little place near Laura's place. I ate a lot, including some blueberry cheesecake flapjacks. Who knew such things even existed?
Post-brunch the day's real event started-a trip to the Field Museum. I had never been and the girls wanted to return so we walked over to gape at the treasures of yore. We looked at dinosaurs of course. We took a trip through the earth's history, complete with an in-depth look at the mass extinctions. I pumped a machine so we could hear the call of the brontosaurus. We looked at gems and jewels and at a recreated Egyptian tomb. 
There was a pond in there with some very suspicious tadpoles. We saw many stuffed animals (taxidermy like) and we sang a couple songs including an attempt at a barbershop version of The Bear Necessities while we looked at a bear exhibit. We learned about the benefits of sexual reproduction as opposed to asexual reproduction. We also made this movie which most of you probably already saw on Anna's blog: 
Monday, April 24, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
ADVENTURE!
Following in the footsteps of Day-of-Spontaneity 2005; that glorious day which saw Jeremy, Anna and me to a renaissance faire in Cambridge, WI and then, somewhat accidentally to Wisconsin Dells where these pictures were taken:
Anna and I decided that we needed to celebrate the beginning of the season with a day of ADVENTURE. We didn’t know what the day would hold, only that it would exist and that it would begin at 8 with breakfast at Sophia’s on E Johnson. After a leisurely breakfast, we got in the car and Anna asked the question, “Which way do you want to go?” You see, the only thing we knew was that we were leaving Madison and heading in a direction. So we picked a road and went for it. This particular road led kind-of West-Northwest (I think) after a few forks, we ended up in Mount Horeb, a place of legend and lore. Our first stop was at what we thought was an antique store but what turned out to be an antique extravaganza. It seems Mt Horeb likes old stuff. Or, maybe they don’t and that’s why it’s all in the stores? At any rate, we had a lot of fun with the crazy stuff for sale. These were some of our favorites:
On the left is a picture of me with a painting of some kid. This kid was quite possibly the scariest kid that ever lived. He may have been dead before this painting was made. On the right is a picture of a “New Era Scientifically Processed Potato Chips” canister we found which advertised the heightened amount of alkalinity in these chips and the fact that they were 95% digestible.
After an hour or so in Antique Mall #1, we climbed back in the car and headed for downtown. On 
the way, we noticed the huge amount of troll statuary. Anna and I are very open-minded people and we have nothing against trolls per se, we just thought it odd that there were soooo many troll carvings. On the way downtown the promise of a garage sale waylaid us. It turned out to be a bust so we hit the trollway. It turns out that Mt Horeb is the “troll capitol of the world.” Whether the statues are the cause of this moniker or the result of it is something we didn’t learn. I’m kinda glad that there’s still some mystery. So, we parked and set out on foot. The trollway has many shops and all of them look like this:
and were full of Norwegian stuff. The staff in these stores were the epitome of midwestern friendliness and were sometimes just a little too helpful. I needed to find an ATM and was given the following explanation:
so the ATM is in the AmCore bank on Main St in the 300 block. we're in the 100 block, so it's about 2 blocks down. so you're going to walk down Main St that way. The AmCore will be on your left; you'll see the sign, it's right across from the Mustard Museum. When you get to the AmCore, the ATM is in this little alcove to your left.
I listened to this explanation for longer than it would have taken for her to walk me to the ATM, nodding the whole time.
Anna and I headed to get cash. Upon turning, we made the amazing discovery of the infamous, world-renowned Mount Horeb Mustard Museum. For those of you not in the kn
ow, the mustard museum is a cool thing. We were greeted with a huge welcome and the concept of the mustard museum and its layout were explained. We started with a video presentation of “Mustard: Spice of Nations” but due to it’s excessive portrayal of rodeo and other non-mustard things, we moved on. The main floor contains a wealth of mustard history from around the world. Literally thousands of jars are on display and a lot of the accompanying advertising and paraphernalia. We browsed but it was pretty clear that we were just biding our time till we could hit the tasting room. The tasting room is like a car dealership but with mustard instead of cars. Tastefully arranged by world region or special feature (ie: Turkish, alcoholic, fruit, prize winners, etc) We foun
d a few things we wanted to taste and headed back to the tasting table. Mustard tasting is a lot like wine tasting. Each mustard’s unique aspects were explained and we tasted, trying to pinpoint the subtleties of the mixed flavors and, sometimes the lineup of complex, multi-part tastes. We 
often had to “cleanse our pallets” and we were treated to more appropriate examples of what we wanted. For example, I had grabbed a brown sugar mustard but our moutardier knew that this wasn’t the one I wanted. She knew that the flavor I was looking for was more likely to be found in the Praline Pecan mustard (which was delicious by the way and will be bought in the fall for serving on Butternut squash) We also tried some special chocolate sauces and a dessert hot sauce which was crazy and awesome. In summation, go to the Mustard Museum!
After the mustard, we needed lunch and so, went to the Blue Skies Soda Shoppe. It was an old-style soda fountain place. It read. We had phosphates. Beautiful photographic proof of phosphates, taken by A.M.:
I also ordered a club sandwich and whipped out my new mustards, which totally read.
After lunch we needed more antiques. We found a sketchy sketchy place. We tried on hats. Mine was an old-school explorer hat. We also spent about 45 minutes looking at old postcards. Old missives are funny! Anna’s big find was a postcard that read, “Feb. 13, 1914 I am going to commit a robbery to-night. I suppose Gunners told you. ‘Riste’” We laughed. Anna also found a card with a picture of a camel that said, “My name Hubert Hump.” We laughed and through her laughter Anna explained, “There’s no verb!” I found the card below. I’ve pointed out the ruffnesses.
This is the back:
We laughed. Then we took a picture of us as a troll and his farm animal. After Antique Store #2, we found Antique Store #3 which was kinda lame except for its ridiculous cellar called, “Betty’s Basement”. Betty apparently didn’t ever throw any crap away; she just put it in this basement. Treasures abounded.
We left Mt Horeb and headed in some random direction, exploring the 
countryside. We were looking for some sort of abandoned building. It was harder to find than we expected. We eventually settled for a semi-abandoned building made of metal. This wasn’t really the aesthetic we were looking for but it was ok. We just kinda hung out and had fun in nature before heading off on a new mission to discover the Mazomanie nude beach. We didn’t want to be nude or even to really see nudity. We just wanted to know where the beach was. We never found it. We did however find a battle site and some Native American Burial Mounds in the wilderness.
I got a tick.
We had fun on our ADVENTURE.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
"Make it look like a house."
Yesterday, in the parking lot of West Towne mall, Anna and I saw a van bearing the logo and web address for Habco Inc. and Burial Homes. I think you'll agree that this is more than a little creepy. According to the website, it's all very simple:
Here are some creepy photos:
After being frustrated with the lack of alternatives to the traditional casket, I wanted to design a product that would help me as well as others who were also uncomfortable with the look of caskets. The solution was, "Make it look like a house."Ummmmm.....there's something really strange about a coffin that looks like a doll's house! The site says, "The real beauty in going home is in being at rest." I don't like associating "home" with being dead. Within the "gallery of homes" there are some killer quotes. Ie: "Shutters Add Flair", "Homes are available in full and half-couch designs", "Reflect on the warmth and comfort of home and experience the peace found in our Burial Homes". Does that mean you can try your home before you buy it? CREEPY. They'll even design a casket special based on a photograph. Who would feel comfortable coming home at the end of the day knowing that one day they'd be cooped up in there forever?
Here are some creepy photos:
Sunday, April 09, 2006
"Oh industry, whatever will become of me?"
I survived the Metals Industry Dinner Show! I drove to Chicago on Wednesday afternoon with only a slight amount of dread. I checked in to my hotel, the Hyatt Regency, with about two hours to spare. On the way in tho, I noticed all the business men bedecked in suits and got wholly nervous. I don't really read in a corporate, boy scout environment - happily. Nevertheless, on Wednesday night, I was supposed to read and I was supposed to wheel and deal and throw my business cards around and collect as many "contacts" as possible. I'm no networker and I didn't have a suit. I had brought a few options but on closer inspection I was worried that all of them were just a bit "too" fashionable. Steel men, as a rule, are not fashionable. My anxiousness was really getting to me and I needed some emergency help so, I logged on to AIM to consult with people and I called Laura and some others to get opinions on appropriate boy-scout-dinner-wear.
I eventually decided on an outfit and headed down to the grand ballroom for the cocktail hour. I needed a drink by this point and I hadn't even done anything yet. The lobby of the ballroom was crawling with industry-folk. I played it off like I was looking for someone. I'm sure this ploy was completely transparent but really, how do you start a conversation in this context? I did manage to meet a few people and have asinine conversations with them. That was the biggest help - I learned that they were as uncomfortable as I was.
Dinner time came and we all shuffled into the huge grand ballroom. I picked a table with a woman and some coats sitting at it. She said that two seats were taken but I was welcome to sit. Having seen this scenario in action, I figured the table would fill - it didn't. The woman turned out to be the wife of a steel dude. The other table-mate was their daughter. So, it was me and a family which was kinda awkward but also kinda cool since I didn't then have to talk steel the whole dinner. Naturally, we all rose for the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance and the opening prayer (!) After the "amen" we sat to a delicious dinner and listened to the muted strains of the Bill Pollack orchestra. We had a huge steak and grilled mahi mahi. The family finished first and were very ready to go. That left me sitting at a table alone which in any other context would have been fine. It did NOT read at a steel dinner. So I found a new table and had desert with some new dudes and then hastily made my exit before Act II started.
Laura and I had planned on going out after steel so I rushed up to my room and changed into something more apropos and called her to come over. The booze was starting to kick in by that point however and I decided I needed to show her the steel life so we crashed the party. We actually ended up having a great time oogling the crazy steel men AND women. The women especially were dressed in their finest business power outfits and mis-matched splendor. We kept pouring the free booze down our throats and slyly pointed out the ruffness to one another until we discovered the dance floor and then it was on. It's been a long time since I've shaken my booty like that. It was like we were at a steel wedding. The Bill Pollack orchestra was like an imitation Motown. There were four middle-aged black men in matching blue coats singing and dancing with the standard matching choreography. It was pretty great. There were a few incredible people on that dancefloor just shakin it for all the world to see. Laura and I really wanted to break in on one couple and split them off for our own amusement but we lacked the balls to go through with it. We also spent some time observing the collection of sports paraphernalia in the silent auction. Of particular note were the Arnold Palmer signed photo and the prints that "weren't worthy of a hotel hallway". Who knew steel could provide such entertainment. I regret that I'm not able to describe the night with nearly the hilarity that Ms. McClain did over at www.nicelifelaura.blogspot.com.
After sating our steel appetite we went out on the town for a brief beer. Laura took me to some trendy area and a bar called Rockit to look at the Chicago nightlife. It was like a clean frat party in there and I totally dug it. There were chandeliers made of antlers!
Thursday was my day of Chicago and I made the most of it. I met Laura at the Cheesecake factory for some lunch which was delicious as expected and was served up by my favorite deer, Nate. After lunch I set out for the Museum of Contemporary Art and satisfied myself with some much over-do culture. I was happy to check out the Warhol exhibit and I payed witness to the creepiest piece of art I've ever seen. The giant baby was creepy but had nothing on HIM. I walked into what looked to be a gallery but found it empty. On the far side of the room was another door into another gallery. I found this one just as empty but also with a second door. I walked into the third room and gasped. It was empty but for what looked like a boy kneeling in the center of the room, facing a blank wall. It totally freaked me out. Then, in the corner to my right, a sneaky security guard moved and scared me even more. The boy turned out to be a half-scale model of Adolf Hitler. Moral of this story: life-like models of people in sneaky, unexpected places is really CREEPY.
Anyway, this post is way too "my summer vacation" for anyone's good. I'm sorry that I couldn't make this more witty. I'll do my best in future.
I eventually decided on an outfit and headed down to the grand ballroom for the cocktail hour. I needed a drink by this point and I hadn't even done anything yet. The lobby of the ballroom was crawling with industry-folk. I played it off like I was looking for someone. I'm sure this ploy was completely transparent but really, how do you start a conversation in this context? I did manage to meet a few people and have asinine conversations with them. That was the biggest help - I learned that they were as uncomfortable as I was.
Dinner time came and we all shuffled into the huge grand ballroom. I picked a table with a woman and some coats sitting at it. She said that two seats were taken but I was welcome to sit. Having seen this scenario in action, I figured the table would fill - it didn't. The woman turned out to be the wife of a steel dude. The other table-mate was their daughter. So, it was me and a family which was kinda awkward but also kinda cool since I didn't then have to talk steel the whole dinner. Naturally, we all rose for the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance and the opening prayer (!) After the "amen" we sat to a delicious dinner and listened to the muted strains of the Bill Pollack orchestra. We had a huge steak and grilled mahi mahi. The family finished first and were very ready to go. That left me sitting at a table alone which in any other context would have been fine. It did NOT read at a steel dinner. So I found a new table and had desert with some new dudes and then hastily made my exit before Act II started.
Laura and I had planned on going out after steel so I rushed up to my room and changed into something more apropos and called her to come over. The booze was starting to kick in by that point however and I decided I needed to show her the steel life so we crashed the party. We actually ended up having a great time oogling the crazy steel men AND women. The women especially were dressed in their finest business power outfits and mis-matched splendor. We kept pouring the free booze down our throats and slyly pointed out the ruffness to one another until we discovered the dance floor and then it was on. It's been a long time since I've shaken my booty like that. It was like we were at a steel wedding. The Bill Pollack orchestra was like an imitation Motown. There were four middle-aged black men in matching blue coats singing and dancing with the standard matching choreography. It was pretty great. There were a few incredible people on that dancefloor just shakin it for all the world to see. Laura and I really wanted to break in on one couple and split them off for our own amusement but we lacked the balls to go through with it. We also spent some time observing the collection of sports paraphernalia in the silent auction. Of particular note were the Arnold Palmer signed photo and the prints that "weren't worthy of a hotel hallway". Who knew steel could provide such entertainment. I regret that I'm not able to describe the night with nearly the hilarity that Ms. McClain did over at www.nicelifelaura.blogspot.com.
After sating our steel appetite we went out on the town for a brief beer. Laura took me to some trendy area and a bar called Rockit to look at the Chicago nightlife. It was like a clean frat party in there and I totally dug it. There were chandeliers made of antlers!
Thursday was my day of Chicago and I made the most of it. I met Laura at the Cheesecake factory for some lunch which was delicious as expected and was served up by my favorite deer, Nate. After lunch I set out for the Museum of Contemporary Art and satisfied myself with some much over-do culture. I was happy to check out the Warhol exhibit and I payed witness to the creepiest piece of art I've ever seen. The giant baby was creepy but had nothing on HIM. I walked into what looked to be a gallery but found it empty. On the far side of the room was another door into another gallery. I found this one just as empty but also with a second door. I walked into the third room and gasped. It was empty but for what looked like a boy kneeling in the center of the room, facing a blank wall. It totally freaked me out. Then, in the corner to my right, a sneaky security guard moved and scared me even more. The boy turned out to be a half-scale model of Adolf Hitler. Moral of this story: life-like models of people in sneaky, unexpected places is really CREEPY.
Anyway, this post is way too "my summer vacation" for anyone's good. I'm sorry that I couldn't make this more witty. I'll do my best in future.
Friday, April 07, 2006
A little Feingold lovin'
We in Wisconsin are lucky to have Russ Feingold as one of our representatives. Here are some new statements given by the Senator at a listening session in Kenosha:
“The proposed ban on civil unions and marriage is a mean-spirited attempt to divide Wisconsin and I indicated that it should be defeated,”
“It discriminates against thousands of people in our communities – our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends, and our family members. It would single out members of a particular group and forever deny them rights and protections granted to all other Wisconsin citizens. It would also outlaw civil unions and jeopardize many legal protections for all unmarried couples, whether of the same or the opposite sex. We shouldn’t enshrine this prejudice in our state’s Constitution.”
"gay and lesbian couples should be able to marry and have access to the same rights, privileges and benefits that straight couples currently enjoy.”
“Denying people this basic American right is the kind of discrimination that has no place in our laws, especially in a progressive state like Wisconsin. The time has come to end this discrimination and the politics of divisiveness that has become part of this issue.”
-from http://feingold.senate.gov/
All together now: Thanks Russ!
“The proposed ban on civil unions and marriage is a mean-spirited attempt to divide Wisconsin and I indicated that it should be defeated,”
“It discriminates against thousands of people in our communities – our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends, and our family members. It would single out members of a particular group and forever deny them rights and protections granted to all other Wisconsin citizens. It would also outlaw civil unions and jeopardize many legal protections for all unmarried couples, whether of the same or the opposite sex. We shouldn’t enshrine this prejudice in our state’s Constitution.”
"gay and lesbian couples should be able to marry and have access to the same rights, privileges and benefits that straight couples currently enjoy.”
“Denying people this basic American right is the kind of discrimination that has no place in our laws, especially in a progressive state like Wisconsin. The time has come to end this discrimination and the politics of divisiveness that has become part of this issue.”
-from http://feingold.senate.gov/
All together now: Thanks Russ!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
BSA - BS
I’m heading to Chicago tomorrow to attend the Annual Metals Industry BSA Dinner in Chicago. That’s right, BSA stands for Boy Scouts of America. I feel a lot of personal guilt about attending this event. I was personally invited to the dinner and, being a good employee I told my boss about it and also explained my reasons for not wanting to go. He though has heard of this event and has been curious and anxious to get someone to it. I’m the obvious choice since I’m so close. At any rate, I get a free trip to Chicago and get to hang out with Laura again. I just wish that I didn’t have to help the scouts in the process. Most of you will understand my contempt for the BSA but for those of you who may not, an explanation:
It is the policy of the Boy Scouts of America to refuse registration to, or remove openly gay scouts and leaders. They also refuse the children of gay parents. There is very little need for proof. In the past, they have acted on gossip, and have even carried out investigations. In defending their discriminatory policies the BSA’s leaders often quote the scout oath and law which say, “to keep myself morally straight” and, “A scout is clean.” They also indicate their support for “traditional family values” without ever saying what those might be. Statements such as these seem to imply that gay people have no morals or family values and they say explicitly that a gay person is unclean in either a physical, mental or spiritual sense. For these reasons, I am stridently against the Boy Scouts of America. To suggest that every gay person is alike is asinine and offensive.
In 2000, the Supreme Court upheld that the Boy Scouts are a private organization and, as such, are free to associate themselves with whomever they may choose – or not. The problem for them now is that, as a private organization, free to discriminate, they are no longer able to receive public funds. The choice then became, “Do we want to have money to fund our programs and help our kids or do we want to discriminate?” They chose discrimination.
This has been my little way of making amends. I really hate that in this particular instance I have to put work before scruples and money before principles. By voicing my opinion here and perhaps elsewhere, I’m trying to undo the little bit of help my presence will do them. I hope that you all, if presented with the option of supporting a discriminatory group, opt out.
Now, a picture of some straight scouts:
It is the policy of the Boy Scouts of America to refuse registration to, or remove openly gay scouts and leaders. They also refuse the children of gay parents. There is very little need for proof. In the past, they have acted on gossip, and have even carried out investigations. In defending their discriminatory policies the BSA’s leaders often quote the scout oath and law which say, “to keep myself morally straight” and, “A scout is clean.” They also indicate their support for “traditional family values” without ever saying what those might be. Statements such as these seem to imply that gay people have no morals or family values and they say explicitly that a gay person is unclean in either a physical, mental or spiritual sense. For these reasons, I am stridently against the Boy Scouts of America. To suggest that every gay person is alike is asinine and offensive.
In 2000, the Supreme Court upheld that the Boy Scouts are a private organization and, as such, are free to associate themselves with whomever they may choose – or not. The problem for them now is that, as a private organization, free to discriminate, they are no longer able to receive public funds. The choice then became, “Do we want to have money to fund our programs and help our kids or do we want to discriminate?” They chose discrimination.
This has been my little way of making amends. I really hate that in this particular instance I have to put work before scruples and money before principles. By voicing my opinion here and perhaps elsewhere, I’m trying to undo the little bit of help my presence will do them. I hope that you all, if presented with the option of supporting a discriminatory group, opt out.
Now, a picture of some straight scouts:
Friday, March 24, 2006
Slovaks
This video just makes me happy. It serves no other purpose. It was filmed at the SBB Christmas party, a few days before I left London.
Friday, March 17, 2006
some stories
#1 - I was on the square Tuesday night waiting for a bus in that gross stop at the top of State. There was some dude waiting as well. By all appearances he was slightly homeless but he didn't look crazy. Turns out tho that he may have been. Whenever I moved at all, crazy man would jerk suddenly and stand at attention. He never really looked at me but whenever I moved he would jump to attention. Then he started talking. The following came as one thought, "Father? Yes son? Daddy, what is sodomy? Sodomy is a form of rape son. Rape dad? Yes."
So, I found another bus stop.
#2 - On the bus Wednesday night, we were cruising along until - we pulled over, the bus driver stood up, turned around to address the passengers and asked, "Do any of you know where this bus turns?" I don't really require a lot of my bus drivers. I do prefer them to know where we're going tho.
#3 - After a wonderful night at the Shamrock with Becki I walked her home and she made me a grilled cheese. Then I called saferide for a cab. Saferide is a system set up by the University to supply free cab rides. As I work for the University I still get to use it. Anyway, saferide gets me pretty far but then they start charging after Midvale. So the cab picked me up and the driver said, "Ya know Porter's after..." Which made no sense to me so I said, "What?" and he had to repeat himself 4 times before I got him to say, "You're charged after Midvale...quarters!!" "Oh, yeah I know" I had thought he was making some sort of sports small talk...oops. So we drove off and picked up Hazel on the way. All was well the whole way UNTIL we got to my apartment’s parking lot. Cabbie (as he shall be forthwith known) announced the price of $4.50 and I handed him my debit card as I was told I could do when I made the cab request. Here is where the event went downhill. Cabbie totally freaked out, resulting in this exchange:
Cabbie: Don’t you have any cash?!?!
Me: No. I was told I could use my card when I called.
Cabbie: Well I’ll just take you back then!!
Me & Hazel: Wha?
Me: No! I asked before I got in this car if I could pay with plastic and was told it was fine.
Cabbie: Well, if I run your card the meter is going to reset and I won’t be able to charge her right.
Hazel: Listen, I’ll just pay for him.
Me & Cabbie: No.
Cabbie: (to me) You’ve been nothing but trouble since you got in this cab!!
Me: So you’re going to take me back downtown?
Cabbie: No but you’re not getting out until I drop her off so I can charge her.
Me: Fine! Drive! Can I have my card back please?
Cabbie kept my card and drove to Hazel’s place where she got out. Needless to say, I was seething but, I figured my eventual complaint would have more merit if I didn’t get violent or start swearing at him so, contrary to my standard procedure I kept my cool. We dropped Hazel off and while in her driveway Cabbie ran my card and handed me the slip.
Me: I’m not going to sign this until you take me home.
He turned around completely and just stared at me. I stared back and repeated, “I’m not signing yet. Take me home.” He got heated to the point that I thought I was going to get punched but then he drove.
Cabbie: Fuckin’ kids!! Oh, no, don’t trust the cab driver. Always expect the cab driver to fuck you over. You fuckin’ kids think this is great? You think I like driving snotty-nosed people all over this fuckin’ city?! You think you’re all so fuckin’ smart with all your fuckin’ classes. You’re too fuckin’ drunk is what you are.
Me: I’m completely sober.
Cabbie: Well you’re too fuckin’ tired! Fuckin’ kids are younger than my kids. You think I like this fuckin’ shit-paying job? You think this is so great? Oh, porters? Porters? Clean your fuckin’ ears.
Me: You need to communicate better if you want to get anything across. I had no clue what you were talking about.
Cabbie: Must be my fuckin’ accent huh? (He had none) That must be the problem, huh? You students would never consider that you’re the problem. What do you think you’re gonna do with your life? What are you studying?
Me: I have a degree and a certificate and two jobs.
Cabbie: … Get the fuck out of my fuckin’ cab.
Me: You want me to –
Cabbie: Get out, I don’t want your fuckin’ money!
I’ve been told that technically, if a cab driver doesn’t take you where you want to go, it’s called kidnapping. From here on in this story will be called, “that time I got kidnapped by a cab driver”. Needless to say I was kinda scared. It’s very intense to be in a moving car with a driver who seems nuts and seems like he wants to hurt you. I’m glad I kept my cool. When I got home I called Union cab and explained. They seemed genuinely concerned and promised that he would be called in and severely reprimanded. I hope the jackass was fired. It was intense!
So, I found another bus stop.
#2 - On the bus Wednesday night, we were cruising along until - we pulled over, the bus driver stood up, turned around to address the passengers and asked, "Do any of you know where this bus turns?" I don't really require a lot of my bus drivers. I do prefer them to know where we're going tho.
#3 - After a wonderful night at the Shamrock with Becki I walked her home and she made me a grilled cheese. Then I called saferide for a cab. Saferide is a system set up by the University to supply free cab rides. As I work for the University I still get to use it. Anyway, saferide gets me pretty far but then they start charging after Midvale. So the cab picked me up and the driver said, "Ya know Porter's after..." Which made no sense to me so I said, "What?" and he had to repeat himself 4 times before I got him to say, "You're charged after Midvale...quarters!!" "Oh, yeah I know" I had thought he was making some sort of sports small talk...oops. So we drove off and picked up Hazel on the way. All was well the whole way UNTIL we got to my apartment’s parking lot. Cabbie (as he shall be forthwith known) announced the price of $4.50 and I handed him my debit card as I was told I could do when I made the cab request. Here is where the event went downhill. Cabbie totally freaked out, resulting in this exchange:
Cabbie: Don’t you have any cash?!?!
Me: No. I was told I could use my card when I called.
Cabbie: Well I’ll just take you back then!!
Me & Hazel: Wha?
Me: No! I asked before I got in this car if I could pay with plastic and was told it was fine.
Cabbie: Well, if I run your card the meter is going to reset and I won’t be able to charge her right.
Hazel: Listen, I’ll just pay for him.
Me & Cabbie: No.
Cabbie: (to me) You’ve been nothing but trouble since you got in this cab!!
Me: So you’re going to take me back downtown?
Cabbie: No but you’re not getting out until I drop her off so I can charge her.
Me: Fine! Drive! Can I have my card back please?
Cabbie kept my card and drove to Hazel’s place where she got out. Needless to say, I was seething but, I figured my eventual complaint would have more merit if I didn’t get violent or start swearing at him so, contrary to my standard procedure I kept my cool. We dropped Hazel off and while in her driveway Cabbie ran my card and handed me the slip.
Me: I’m not going to sign this until you take me home.
He turned around completely and just stared at me. I stared back and repeated, “I’m not signing yet. Take me home.” He got heated to the point that I thought I was going to get punched but then he drove.
Cabbie: Fuckin’ kids!! Oh, no, don’t trust the cab driver. Always expect the cab driver to fuck you over. You fuckin’ kids think this is great? You think I like driving snotty-nosed people all over this fuckin’ city?! You think you’re all so fuckin’ smart with all your fuckin’ classes. You’re too fuckin’ drunk is what you are.
Me: I’m completely sober.
Cabbie: Well you’re too fuckin’ tired! Fuckin’ kids are younger than my kids. You think I like this fuckin’ shit-paying job? You think this is so great? Oh, porters? Porters? Clean your fuckin’ ears.
Me: You need to communicate better if you want to get anything across. I had no clue what you were talking about.
Cabbie: Must be my fuckin’ accent huh? (He had none) That must be the problem, huh? You students would never consider that you’re the problem. What do you think you’re gonna do with your life? What are you studying?
Me: I have a degree and a certificate and two jobs.
Cabbie: … Get the fuck out of my fuckin’ cab.
Me: You want me to –
Cabbie: Get out, I don’t want your fuckin’ money!
I’ve been told that technically, if a cab driver doesn’t take you where you want to go, it’s called kidnapping. From here on in this story will be called, “that time I got kidnapped by a cab driver”. Needless to say I was kinda scared. It’s very intense to be in a moving car with a driver who seems nuts and seems like he wants to hurt you. I’m glad I kept my cool. When I got home I called Union cab and explained. They seemed genuinely concerned and promised that he would be called in and severely reprimanded. I hope the jackass was fired. It was intense!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
It's very exciting...
On March 28, 1834, the United States Senate voted to censure President Andrew Jackson, saying, "Resolved that the President in the late Executive proceedings in relation to the public revenue, has assumed upon himself authority and power not conferred by the Constitution and laws, but in derogation of both." [emphasis mine]. Jackson had refused to provide documents pertaining to his plan to remove the government funds from an account at the privately run Bank of the United States.
Censure is provided for in the constitution as a way of scolding Senators and Representatives in the House. There is nothing in the constitution allowing for censure of a President but that didn't stop Congress from officially scolding Andrew Jackson in 1834 (although the censure was expunged from the record three years later). The precedent has been set.
Today, Senator Feingold announced that he will introduce a resolution to censure President Bush for misleading the American public about the legality of the NSA's secret wire-tapping program. It would also scold the president for directly breaking the law by authorizing the program; using powers not directly given him by the constitution and in violation of the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA).
For those of you that don't know, the NSA program authorized by Bush allows the NSA to eavesdrop on the international phone conversations and emails of American citizens without a warrant if those people are suspected of having ties to a terrorist organization. Nobody ever really says what constitutes the suspicion. According to the administration, FISA is too clunky. FISA allows these wiretaps and interceptions after a warrant has been issued from a special Intelligence court. The program that he authorized smacks of 'Big Brother' and, as it was totally secret didn't even have a real mechanism providing oversight. In short, it's scary shit that has grave potential to invade our privacy.
Naturally the Republicans had a response to Feingold. Senator Frist is quoted as saying, "The signal that it sends, that there is in any way a lack of support for our commander in chief who is leading us with a bold vision in a way that is making our homeland safer, is wrong,". Apparently, nobody showed Frist Bush's current ratings: only 34% of Americans approve of the job Bush is doing as President and 50% of Americans think he's doing a lousy job "handling the campaign against terrorism" (according to a CBS poll). It seems to me that there is a very clear lack of support, thereby negating Frist's complaint about the censure. For some time now there have been reports of the dissatisfaction Republican members of Congress feel for Bush.
The really interesting question is the political fallout this could have for Feingold. I for one have never been more proud to be from Wisconsin but whether that sentiment rings for many is unclear. Feingold has largely been rumored to be considering a 2008 run for President. I think he'd be great but really, will the country elect a twice-divorced, currently single, Jewish, northern, liberal-Democrat? Is Feingold perhaps giving up on the Presidency with this censure resolution or is he showing his strength? Or, as I like to think, is he merely a good man doing what he should do despite the possible political fallout? Regardless of his goodness, we'll see how brave his colleagues are when it comes time to vote on the censure. Being an election year, many of the Democrats may not wish to sign their name to something so potentially huge. Many of the Republicans may wish however to sign on as a way of showing their distance from Bush. Oooh, I'm excited and I'm rooting for Feingold. You may wish to contact him and offer your support: (202) 224-5323 Or, contact your senator and express your wish for him or her to support the resolution by going here: http://contactcongress.blogspot.com/. They're your representatives, tell them your views.
Censure is provided for in the constitution as a way of scolding Senators and Representatives in the House. There is nothing in the constitution allowing for censure of a President but that didn't stop Congress from officially scolding Andrew Jackson in 1834 (although the censure was expunged from the record three years later). The precedent has been set.
Today, Senator Feingold announced that he will introduce a resolution to censure President Bush for misleading the American public about the legality of the NSA's secret wire-tapping program. It would also scold the president for directly breaking the law by authorizing the program; using powers not directly given him by the constitution and in violation of the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA).
For those of you that don't know, the NSA program authorized by Bush allows the NSA to eavesdrop on the international phone conversations and emails of American citizens without a warrant if those people are suspected of having ties to a terrorist organization. Nobody ever really says what constitutes the suspicion. According to the administration, FISA is too clunky. FISA allows these wiretaps and interceptions after a warrant has been issued from a special Intelligence court. The program that he authorized smacks of 'Big Brother' and, as it was totally secret didn't even have a real mechanism providing oversight. In short, it's scary shit that has grave potential to invade our privacy.
Naturally the Republicans had a response to Feingold. Senator Frist is quoted as saying, "The signal that it sends, that there is in any way a lack of support for our commander in chief who is leading us with a bold vision in a way that is making our homeland safer, is wrong,". Apparently, nobody showed Frist Bush's current ratings: only 34% of Americans approve of the job Bush is doing as President and 50% of Americans think he's doing a lousy job "handling the campaign against terrorism" (according to a CBS poll). It seems to me that there is a very clear lack of support, thereby negating Frist's complaint about the censure. For some time now there have been reports of the dissatisfaction Republican members of Congress feel for Bush.
The really interesting question is the political fallout this could have for Feingold. I for one have never been more proud to be from Wisconsin but whether that sentiment rings for many is unclear. Feingold has largely been rumored to be considering a 2008 run for President. I think he'd be great but really, will the country elect a twice-divorced, currently single, Jewish, northern, liberal-Democrat? Is Feingold perhaps giving up on the Presidency with this censure resolution or is he showing his strength? Or, as I like to think, is he merely a good man doing what he should do despite the possible political fallout? Regardless of his goodness, we'll see how brave his colleagues are when it comes time to vote on the censure. Being an election year, many of the Democrats may not wish to sign their name to something so potentially huge. Many of the Republicans may wish however to sign on as a way of showing their distance from Bush. Oooh, I'm excited and I'm rooting for Feingold. You may wish to contact him and offer your support: (202) 224-5323 Or, contact your senator and express your wish for him or her to support the resolution by going here: http://contactcongress.blogspot.com/. They're your representatives, tell them your views.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Ruff/Rough...
Following Laura's request for a definition of "ruff" or "rough" as it is used by our group, I did some searching for "ruff" or "rough". Here's what I found. Hopefully the parts or the whole of this post will provide an understanding to any and all that were wondering.
As you can see, "ruff" or "rough" works in many situations. It can be used metaphorically (Laura's ruff) or literally (This stone is rough). It can be positive (Nice earring Rach, you're ruff) or negative (Pride and Prejudice was ruuuuff). It can be serious (She's pregnant? That's ruff) or not serious (Molly in sequins is ruff). It's a very versatile word and I hope this has helped.
As you can see, "ruff" or "rough" works in many situations. It can be used metaphorically (Laura's ruff) or literally (This stone is rough). It can be positive (Nice earring Rach, you're ruff) or negative (Pride and Prejudice was ruuuuff). It can be serious (She's pregnant? That's ruff) or not serious (Molly in sequins is ruff). It's a very versatile word and I hope this has helped.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Good friends and drag queens...
Last night, being in a rather melancholy mood, I called Becki to hang out. Neither of us really knew what to do...so we went to Club 5. Club 5 for those of you that don't know is Madison's only real gay dance club. It's one of my least favorite places. We, however, the intrepid fun-finders that we are had a lot of fun. We stumbled, completely surprised onto a drag/strip show. I know it sounds as if drag queens were stripping and that would be a pretty intense/cool show anywhere other than Madison but no, there were drag queens and then there were strippers. Both groups were kinda funny in a semi-pathetic way. People-watching is one of the highest forms of entertainment in my world and last night was like the super bowl.
Drag queens in Madison are really nothing more than female impersonators and rather poor ones at that. Real drag queens should be, in my opinion, for lack of a better word, fabulous. Ours are pretty shabby at best. Below, on the left, you'll see a good example, on the right, a piss-poor Madison type.
#5 - ooooops, I dropped her! on the dancefloor...
#6 - no worries though, I'll just come down to the floor and we can continue dancing there.
So, we laughed about that and then we laughed about "springy gay" who was trying desperately to get onto the box to dance. He was just a little too energetic though and kept overstepping the box, falling to the floor with perfect comic timing. Getting back onto the box also proved difficult and springy gay accidentally somersaulted over it. We laughed. Then one of the strippers came over trying to shake money out of the people. Becki and I however are quite above putting money in thongs (at least last night we were) and we were having none of it. Sensing this, stripper man let his guard down and complimented (?) me on my look, saying, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Quentin Tarantino?" There's something strange about a man making small talk while standing in tiny leather underwear. So we laughed and then left.
We left but the night was not over. After Club 5 as most people know is "Perkin's Time". Becki and I headed to the famed University Ave. Perkin's for some late-nite vittals. The usual suspects were in full effect. I made my way to the bathroom and discovered the-man-who-loved-paper-towels. Perkin's has a motion-sensored paper towel dispenser. I walked into the restroom and found a strange man slowly moving his hand up and down in front of the paper towels, seemingly unaware of the towels already hanging out the front. I gave a concerned look and went about my business. When I got to the table Becki told me all about "toothless-man" and his disturbing stares. We were served by a young man who we only know by the name on his name tag-Steve the Pirate. Naturally we had to work pirate talk into everything, ie: "Steve, arrrrrrrrr there any lemons?" There were. Seated directly behind Becki was a table of tragically gay men. One man in particular talked without seeming to pause for breath about his cousin who still lived in Jamaica and the unfortunate incident of when she went slightly crazy and decapitated her new husband on their honeymoon. The story kept spewing until suddenly, in a puzzled voice, he asked, "Hey, what happened to my m & ms?"
What happened indeed?!?
Drag queens in Madison are really nothing more than female impersonators and rather poor ones at that. Real drag queens should be, in my opinion, for lack of a better word, fabulous. Ours are pretty shabby at best. Below, on the left, you'll see a good example, on the right, a piss-poor Madison type.
The strippers also left a little to be desired. They suffered a different problem though. Rather than being really sexy, they were kinda cute and endearing which also made us laugh. The first guy, whom we've dubbed 'cowboy guy' was kinda cute but had no rhythm at all and the skinniest little chicken legs sticking out of his huge boots.
The people on stage though, weren't the only ones worthy of scrutiny. A few tables in front of us was a table of goth-gays and a girl. These guys were completely bombed out of their minds. At one point, while I was standing at the urinal, which is thankfully in an alcove of its own, one of the goth guys came in and announced his presence with projectile vomit. It's never a good idea to have your puke precede you. After this impressive display, escaping the rancid bathroom with the other innocents was a challenge. Trying to dodge the puke on the floor I grabbed the wall and my hand slipped on the upchuck there so I had to go back in, doing the crazy hop-over-the-puke dance to wash my hands again. Needless to say I got out and back to the table, ready for more people watching
Puking completed, goth/raver boi was back in action on the dancefloor. He and his matching friend were grinding with some girl. The moves went something like this:
The people on stage though, weren't the only ones worthy of scrutiny. A few tables in front of us was a table of goth-gays and a girl. These guys were completely bombed out of their minds. At one point, while I was standing at the urinal, which is thankfully in an alcove of its own, one of the goth guys came in and announced his presence with projectile vomit. It's never a good idea to have your puke precede you. After this impressive display, escaping the rancid bathroom with the other innocents was a challenge. Trying to dodge the puke on the floor I grabbed the wall and my hand slipped on the upchuck there so I had to go back in, doing the crazy hop-over-the-puke dance to wash my hands again. Needless to say I got out and back to the table, ready for more people watching
Puking completed, goth/raver boi was back in action on the dancefloor. He and his matching friend were grinding with some girl. The moves went something like this:
Please note: everything seems to be in order:
#1 - we're dancing
#2 - we're dancing
#3 - uh oh, we're bending back
#4 - how low can she go?
Everything is still ok until we get to step 5 however:
#5 - ooooops, I dropped her! on the dancefloor...
#6 - no worries though, I'll just come down to the floor and we can continue dancing there.
So, we laughed about that and then we laughed about "springy gay" who was trying desperately to get onto the box to dance. He was just a little too energetic though and kept overstepping the box, falling to the floor with perfect comic timing. Getting back onto the box also proved difficult and springy gay accidentally somersaulted over it. We laughed. Then one of the strippers came over trying to shake money out of the people. Becki and I however are quite above putting money in thongs (at least last night we were) and we were having none of it. Sensing this, stripper man let his guard down and complimented (?) me on my look, saying, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Quentin Tarantino?" There's something strange about a man making small talk while standing in tiny leather underwear. So we laughed and then left.
We left but the night was not over. After Club 5 as most people know is "Perkin's Time". Becki and I headed to the famed University Ave. Perkin's for some late-nite vittals. The usual suspects were in full effect. I made my way to the bathroom and discovered the-man-who-loved-paper-towels. Perkin's has a motion-sensored paper towel dispenser. I walked into the restroom and found a strange man slowly moving his hand up and down in front of the paper towels, seemingly unaware of the towels already hanging out the front. I gave a concerned look and went about my business. When I got to the table Becki told me all about "toothless-man" and his disturbing stares. We were served by a young man who we only know by the name on his name tag-Steve the Pirate. Naturally we had to work pirate talk into everything, ie: "Steve, arrrrrrrrr there any lemons?" There were. Seated directly behind Becki was a table of tragically gay men. One man in particular talked without seeming to pause for breath about his cousin who still lived in Jamaica and the unfortunate incident of when she went slightly crazy and decapitated her new husband on their honeymoon. The story kept spewing until suddenly, in a puzzled voice, he asked, "Hey, what happened to my m & ms?"
What happened indeed?!?
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